How to Help a Friend

Know the Signs and Symptoms
- Acting withdrawn or seems tired,depressed, or mad for no reason
- Not caring about personalappearance
- Slipping grades, skipping classes
- Losing interest in activities they enjoy
- Lies about drug use
- Needs drugs to have a good time orcope
Sometimes a potential drug problem may not be as obvious as a person getting high on a regular basis. Other indicators may include school and work concerns, the disappearance of prescription medicines, money, or valuables in your residence hall or at home; and the appearance of drug paraphernalia, including rolling papers, lighters, and medicine that don’t belong to you or your friend. These signs are not always indicative of a drug problem, but you are right to be concerned.

Make a list of the behaviors you have noticed and be specific. For example, “You came home too high to walk straight (# of nights) this past week.”
Know the Available Resources

Know what resources are available oncampus and in the local community, such as:
- Center for Student CollegiateRecovery (Malone 113)
- Student Health Services
- Student Psychological Services
- Community of Care (COC) Student Affairs Dean's Office - 310.338.3756
- Community drug abuse preventionprovider/Community drug abusetreatment provide
- Local hospital or health care facility
Consider having these resources listed on a piece of paper to leave with the person. They may not look at it while you’re having the conversation, but they might give it more careful consideration at a later date.

Share your concern with someone you trust who is unbiased and can help you sort out your feelings and answer any questions you might have, (a professor, coach, residence advisor, counselor etc)

Before talking with someone you suspect might have a drug problem, it’s important to practice the conversation until you are sure you can remain calm.
Have a Conversation

Do not have the conversation with the individual you are concerned about if they are under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

If the conversation becomesheated or out of control, then endthe discussion and leave, with aplan to bring it up later when theyare calm.

Be sure to listen. It’s important you hear what the other person issaying so you can offer to help. Askif there is anything they need andthen follow through. Do not pile on criticism. Frame the conversation as a concern for the person’s well-being and provide specific examples of their behaviorthat concerns you. Avoid comingacross as judgmental.

Consider using the following format:
- Situation - Saturday morning when you came home at 3 a.m.
- Behavior - You were struggling to walk straight.
- Impact - I was concerned for your wellbeing. (It is okay to share your concern/feelings.) Endthe conversation with an open invitation to talk.
Listen. If they talk to you, just be there for them. Admitting a problem—never mind talking to someone about it—is really hard. Listen to what they have to say about their drug use without making judgments.

Encourage. Suggest that they talk to an adult they trust—a coach or teacher, a school counselor, a relative, or a doctor.

Share. Maybe your friend doesn’t see their drug use as a bad thing. But plenty of real scientific information about what drugs can do to a person is on the NIDA Web site. Once your friend understands how drugs affect the brain, body, and life, it might open their eyes.

Inform. When they’re ready to make a change and seek treatment, help them find a doctor, therapist, support group, or treatment program.

Support. Don’t give up on your friend, even if they aren’t ready to get help. Keep reaching out. Encourage them to get treatment, and support them along the way —that’s the best way to help someone you care about who is struggling with addiction.